Why do I believe what so many I know and love reject?
 
In the writings of the New Testament story-tellers, there is an unfolding reality of who Jesus is.  Yet, an onslaught of miracles, healings, teachings, undeniable power over demons and nature was never enough to fully convince most people that God was standing before them in human flesh.  They touched, handled, and ate with Yahweh, and walked away – astonished, maybe … but unchanged. 
 
What questions and confessions they entertained, disintegrated into fear and unbelief when the government moved in and hung him on high to prove who had the power.  It took a resurrection and a visible ascension into the heavens before the truth became solid in their minds and hearts that this could be true.  Then the strange visitation of the Holy Spirit on Pentecost secured them body, soul and spirit in the truth so they became martyrs rather than renounce the Truth.  And not just a few, but millions!  And it is still expanding!
 
I never got to see Him in the flesh, but I grew up in the stories and was surrounded by believers.  All on my own, I totally rebelled against it all and wanted to live like my friends who cared little for such “religious crap” as they called it.  But, all that glittered like gold, disintegrated like shards of glass as I experienced the love and forgiveness of my parents who had sold themselves out to the reality of Jesus.
 
I still haven’t seen Him, but I know Him through others whose lives are deep and true in the His reality.  And I have experienced Him myself as this curious “weight of glory” fills my soul and stabilizes me through all the storms  past, present or future.  And I have this Word that never runs dry, which is as deep as eternity, and which expands me to live large in its truths. 
 
No one else can offer such treasure. No other religion, no other lifestyle, no other belief can come close to  the consuming power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Do you know this “weight of glory” for yourself? 

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​“If one advances confidently in the direction of her dreams and endeavors to live the life she has imagined she will meet with success unexpected in common hours.”  Henry Thoreau ,“Walden”
 
I was so enchanted with this quote the year I turned 50 that every journal for the next 20 years had it recorded.  That was the year my first husband died and life changed dramatically.  All at once “dreams and endeavors” became possible  and I wasted little time redesigning life on my own terms.  Seminary, reconstruction of a 50’s rambler into the first Blessing House, becoming an apologist with Dr. Don Bierle, and discovering the joy of gardening were seed ideas that had lain dormant in my imagination. 
 
Little did I know those dreams were only the stepping stones into a totally unexpected life here in Victoria.   My dreams were as big as I could imagine and those 13 years on Lakeview Terrace on Lake Waconia brought enormous satisfaction and joy as people flowed through the doors into the common hours of my imagined life.
 
But, God’s dream for me was beyond my imagination – an impossible reality that I am now sitting in as I write this blog.  I am surprised every day with the enormity of His plan for me that far exceeded anything I could possibly have thought of.  I wrote about the “what if” question that roamed through my mind last week as He asked me to give up everything I had ever imagined -  everything I had accomplished, for am impossible journey into His imagination that only He could orchestrate.   I am still stunned that He would entrust His dream to me as I was entering my 70s!
 
Could it be that I risked  ”advancing confidently in the direction of my small dreams and a life imagined”?  Was that all a set up to train me for this Blessing House?  When did He dream this up?   Was it truly before the foundation of the world according to Eph 2:10  “For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God created in advance for us to do.”?
 
I encourage you to dream and endeavor to live a life imagined.  Stop trying to figure out what God wants you to do… His dreams are too big to even conceive.  I believe that He has put dreams within us that are the seeds of His greater dreams .  Don’t just sit there wishing and praying something would change.  Start where you are, journal your ideas and dreams, and risk advancing confidently in that direction. 

So​ came the question one quiet morning.  Like a breath of fresh air traveling through my head it left  me a bit chilled.  Such a question could only be from His Majesty as such a thought would not have occurred to me.  I was 68 and this question wasn’t the one most of my friends were dealing with.  
 
This was not a question of retirement, but opened up a whole new life direction – a mysterious and uncertain path into the future.  Any “what if” question activated my imagination, but this one invited me into a whole new world of possibilities.  
 
What would it be like to own nothing and trust myself to God’s plan for me? 

Underlying that question lay another which God has challenged me with over the years….”Do you trust My Promises about giving all of yourself to Me?
 
The idea of giving my life and goods over to the full use of God and walking free of ownership into a life as a steward filled my days and nights with wonder and excitement at the risk.  When I turned 60 my big risk was getting a motorcycle and my license besides traveling the jungles and mountains of Africa, Philippines and India as a team of three women called to churches in the wild. 
 
I have tried to risk something new every year to stay sharp and keep a young attitude.  But this haunting prospect captured my dreams and visions so that every other possibility of living out my 7th decade faded in comparison.  
 
I wonder if the Father spoke to the Son and Holy Spirit in the same way….”What if we made a man in our own image and gave him a world of his own to explore and steward?”  What would be the risk?  What would it cost us?  What kind of amazing possibilities could arise in eternity?  Did their eyes widen?  Did they lose sleep”  Did they smile like I did?