I am really quite old fashioned and at least once a day I get lost somewhere in time and space alive in the mystery called life. I hang between two worlds, more and more aware of the greater realm that pulsates through reality.
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I've discovered silence has a sound - an energy alive with possibilities punctuated by the tick of the clock. It takes quiet to hear the silence. It's a living thing this silence where wonder and imagination roam with eyes wide open to the space to which it lives.

My eyes travel over the folds of a soft red blanket and wonder who was comforted in its wrap. The sunlight falls on a pile of books with leather bindings that long to be touched and explored. The way the green fern falls on an earthen pot with a loving touch intrigues me. 

In the quiet everything is alive with story. I sit in the midst of my heart with tears of thankfulness for being alive to the simple joys of light and shadow of colors and textures that caress my sense of being in the midst of transcendence. 

In The Blessing House I want time to slow down as rich syrup is poured over steaming pancakes. A space out of synch with the frenetic lives of today. I want people to walk into a time warp where the old is present and the future collapsed into the moment of now. 

​In only a few weeks the winter will pass and Lake Wassermann will break open to 
spring waters moving between the ice flows, as the banks, yet brown, prepare for color.
As the winter is a series of abandonments – dying back until buried under a cloak of white
death awaiting resurrection, so is life a series of abandonments.  Dreams and expectations 
die back and life feels ice cold.  All the show of color and celebration that makes life worth while is replaced by cold and bleak, white and black.  Such confinements of life have sharp edges that cut out attention to that which glitters and we are forced to think of greater and deeper realities.  Life hidden under the frozen field of disappointments and disasters must stay until the spring comes with hope and joy arising out of a new season.
 
 
Oswald Chambers comments….
There is a life hidden in Christ that cannot be defeated by winters. Rather winters prepare us to abandon everything but Him.  All of our questions also must die.  Abandonment means to refuse to ask any more, “What about this?”  True abandonment is to leave all to God.  We abandon all our suppositions and questions and discover the deeper life that is found only by trusting and entrusting all to Him. 
 
 
I remember leaving the excitement and fulfilling life as a pastor in a large church in Las Vegas to return to yet another dying husband who brought love and joy back into me. Yet, again, I had to abandon my dreams and all I counted as life to tend to another death.  But, under the deadly cold and snow, God was reinforcing Himself as a life source which was absolute and eternal. We humans do want to escape such realities and keep life carefree and optimal.  Yet, the One who loves us desires to bring us alone unto Himself to find life that will never be defeated – fruitful in all seasons – even in the cold of winters.  Such life is found only in the One named Jesus.

I  would like to be a “homely old soul” some day with a face not quite perfect with warts and brown blots. I would like to be unaware of me and only fixed on my Savior singing from a old hymn book.
 
                                    There is a fountain filled with blood
                                    Drawn from Immanuel’s veins
                                    And sinners plunged beneath that flood
                                    Lose all their guilty stains
 
A pleasant peasant’s face lit with joy and laughing wrinkles.  No one would be afraid of me because there would be no fear in me. And someone would say, “she was so loving, I would have sworn her beautiful.”
 
The thought that brings a far off look is remembering the day when I realized a God who hated my sin, but loved me unconditionally.  He clothed Himself with all my rags of unrighteousness in order to die and bury my sin.  Then, returned rom deep darkness to my sin.  Then returned from deep darkness to wrap me in white robes of His righteousness The joy of beginning again with new life was but a glance that became my life.  (2018 at 75)

Stepping back into the early photos and documents of the Blessing House is like getting lost in a snowstorm….a blizzard of memories.  I am astounded at how many people have been involved and how complex this project was.  These past 5 years my focus has always been on the next step, the next challenge and always the daily surprise.  Many of you were involved from the beginning, but the majority of our supporters have never experienced the reality of building this home.  All of your contributions allow us to daily open the doors  to bless all who enter here.

I found another surprise in this journal entry of 3-3-03.  I’d forgotten how early God had been stirring me to buy property and expand the ministry I was doing in the Waconia residence. 
 

• “I especially turned over the crazy idea about buying the neighbor’s house to double the size of my 1950’s  rambler.  What would I want with more property!  Expensive and crazy with work!  I do wish I had more property to work with.  Gardens, greenhouse, children’s playhouse, parking…more headaches, more responsibility, less flexibility…It’s the wildest idea I’ve ever had.  And besides I don’t have the money.  If money were no issue and time of no consequence and proving myself no longer a necessity…what would I see happening?  This is the most impractical and crazy thought.  Should I be taking into account my age?  Yet, such a project stirs my imagination of a life of huge proportions.  O Lord, what is happening to me?  Is this from You?  This idea simply floated out of nowhere.  One thing is for sure…it is not simplifying anything in my life!”

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It wasn’t until 2010 that this crazy idea began to take on flesh and blood, brick and mortar, along with land issues, set-backs, lawyers, bankers, engineers, fraud, architects, builders and governmental issues.  Nothing was easy.  Yet Grace won! We have been open for five years as of March 13, 2013 and the fifth year is the Year of Grace!  It definitely was grace that has brought us this far so that this year alone we could host 65 different churches, 6000+ individuals through ministries, businesses, families, college kids, and the many cultures who find a home here. 

I hope you enjoy the photos of the building events on our website that show how we took a treeless farmer’s field and bog and turned it into the beautiful Blessing House.  I, also, want you to know that your contributions are enriching and expanding the kingdom in ways we can’t count simply by providing a home, an oasis, a retreat, a creative and energizing space for those whose influence reaches into the whole world.

The Board of Directors, the extraordinary staff and myself, especially recognize without you this unique home could not exist or continue.  We are grateful for your gifts and talents that have made the Lord’s dream come true.
 
Rev. Gail L S Berger

​When I began the new Blessing House in Victoria, I was missing something that I didn’t know was absent.  I had grown spiritually in many ways – which is the gift of going through many difficulties besides the deaths of two husbands and a son in 7 years.  Over the years I had learned God’s many names, all which have to do with His character.  I knew Him as  Savior, King, Creator, Ruler, Lover of my soul, True and Faithful, Teacher, Healer…etc.  I had a fair understanding of some of His 900+ names in the Scriptures. 
 
I had also learned to trust that His provision through my husbands was always enough over the years and learned how to be unafraid of giving to others.  I loved teaching on the tithe and the freedom of generosity.  My husbands who were entrepreneurs and had their own businesses provided for all our family needs. 
 
I knew how to give my provisions to church and those in need, and not to possess them just for myself.  What I didn’t know, however, was God as provider.  On my own, with no husbands around, and God’s invitation to “give it all back to Him in building a Blessing House” I was excited to see what that would be like.  But what lay before me was a fraudulent builder who used up my resources leaving me with only walls and a construction zone. 
 
Fear and guilt of using God’s resources in foolish ways – mishandling my son’s warnings about the builder, (thinking I knew better)created a gulf of failure before me.  Did I not hear God right about the dreams of the Blessing House?  Now what?  How and why did this happen? What was I to do now with everything gone and nothing to show for all the work and labor and promises. 
 
I see now that God was showing me what was missing.  “Take your hands off this project.  This house is mine!” I heard Him say.  I had to give up ALL ownership to Him and trust Him as PROVIDER…..not just in His provision.  I was to partner with the Holy Spirit in my development of a deeper trust that had endurance because I was confirmed in His love for me.  He wouldn’t abandon me to myself.  “GROW UP UNTO HIM IN ALL THINGS”
 
Evidently I had a theology that “if God was in it, it will be easy…”  Forget that.  It will be easy and hard according to His plan.  This training in righteousness requires resistance and He is always up to something when things go wrong.  From plans to chaos to the Blessing House built is not only my story….but a story for everyone who enters here.  I must return all the time to the reality of God as Jehovah Jireh over the BH.  He has been faithful through all of you who He inspires to provide for the multiple needs of his Home.  Thank you for being there.

 The Truth Project  is an excellent way to get a grasp on today’s culture and world views.  Christians who are lost at sea on what they believe - not knowing how to answer their friends, family and co-workers, will find this next series a most valuable way to greet another confusing and challenging year. 
 
This video teaching is multi-layered with interviews, clips on the world scene, commentaries from experts in the 12 spheres of life in which we live and solid, factual presentations.  By the age of 13 a child’s world view is in place due to our school systems.  Can you answer their questions?  Have you ever put your time in to answer your own questions?  Or do you simply limp along on habit, tradition and silence.
 

• Do absolute moral truths exist?
• Is absolute truth defined by the Bible?
• Did Jesus live a sinless life?
• Is God the all-powerful and all-knowing creator of the universe, and
• Does He still rule it today?
• Is salvation a gift from God that cannot be earned?
• Is Satan real?
• Does a Christian have a responsibility to share his or her faith in Christ
•  with other people?
• Is the Bible accurate in all of its teachings?

 
Did you answer yes to these?  Only 9% of “born-again” believers did…and in a recent survey of Protestant pastors conducted by Barna Research Group only 51% passed the test on whether they possess a biblical world view.  Www.barna.org can give more statistics.
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Jesus declares that He is the Way, the Truth, and The Life.  The Truth Project sets out the amazing differences and consequences of the Christian Biblical World View in comparison to the major perspectives of the world of people we all live with. 
 
This college level teaching will open your eyes to the Truth as you have never seen it before.
 
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  Romans 12:2

​I love the house at midnight
With snow simply falling.
And the moon providing
Quietude from life.
 
Without a word, I tiptoe round
A child exploring night
All is bathed in wonder
At the majesty in sight
Within, around, upon
A house built as a blessing.
 
The heartbeat of the Lord is here
The breath of life a sound
That sings as music of the spheres
Unheard by human ears…
Except at midnight in the moonlight
From angelic realms
That gathers notes from many years
And blends them into song
 
Memories of long ago
And movement through the years
Guide my eyes as they alight on
Treasures found tonight.
Stories rise on waves of tears
Soundless, as is right
To keep the silence as I wander
Through the midnight sites.
 
God has made a house of me
A temple to His liking
Where he is free to roam within
And rest in His abiding.

I would love to live
Like a river flows,
Carried by the surprise
Of its own unfolding
John O’Donohue
 
“A river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding” is an apt description of life at the Blessing House.  Quiet pools of those in prayer or lost in thought are found alone in shady places.  But, just as quickly the door opens and in rushes a
laughing tumbling stream of women laden with goodies for a picnic in the gardens.
 
 Upstairs there is a reunion of old friends with the noise of celebration and down in the play room the delight of children finding their favorite toy. While the library is gathering men to tackle long range planning, in flows some surprise guests who want a tour of the house and gardens.  Life unfolds like a river flowing – a Spirit moving through noisy and raucous celebrations to knee bending quiet pools in hidden places where tears are poured out.
 
This effervescent life is our greatest joy as God brings through His door those He wants to bless.  We are caught up in a stream of liquid grace that delights and surprises us into prayer and praise for God’s gracious plan. The Blessing House is to be a constant unfolding experience of life in the kingdom as He has always meant it to be. 
 
And to think this all began in the frozen month of January 2013 when we poured through the door with all the furnishings, laughter and applause of heaven.

​Holidays were a minefield for me of surprise packages of grief that would burst open at the most for unlikely times.  Anger, guilt, self-reproach, helplessness, despair, and confusion would shock me as I was grocery shopping or trying on clothes, or sitting in a church service.  I could not pretend things were fine or answer the dreaded question, ”How are you?” without wondering what they wanted to know? How I am doing physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, family-wise?
 I didn’t know myself.                                          
 
I lived in a bubble that no one could enter.  People would talk to me but their words rarely made sense to me.  I found grief was a journey I mostly walked alone – even though I was surrounded by friends and family. I was fortunate to have companions along the way just to know that “normal” was going on somewhere.  It was good to be with those who knew my loss and who didn’t insist on advice or counsel.
 
I learned to allow time to feel alone in the midst of people and to drive myself to any event so I could escape the minute one of the surprise packages opened.  I was glad to go back home and simply sit in the enormity of the loss with the Lord beside me. 
 
It was helpful during the holidays to let the unchanging truths speak to me as the ground of my life was shifting.  Thankfulness would change my perspective more than anybody’s counsel.  Lighting each Christmas candle of truth about God’s presence with me, His shared grief, His own anger against death and the fact that the Christ Child is the only gift given that defeats death allowed my tears to fall differently.
 
It was also very dear that during the holiday celebrations, time was given to savor the memories, be faithful to family rituals, enjoy the favorite foods and accept open conversation about how we were feeling.  We had a bowl of sentence starters we took turns picking out and finishing…..I remember how I loved…..I wish……I admired………I am still angry about…I wonder……I am thankful……
I was glad that I was not expected to contribute to the fixings of the season and was free to help only if I wanted.  I was glad that we were all given the opportunity to simply sit in silence if we wanted.  I always appreciated a soft blanket to wrap in because I was often chilled by grief. 
 
The grandchildren were a great joy to me and their honest reactions to the events of the parties helped me enjoy that time and space set aside like no other.
 
“If your cup is sweet, drink it with thanksgiving.  If your cup is bitter, drink it in communion with the Lord.”  May God’s companionship in your grief be a cushion of hope for the days to come. We will always walk wounded from grief and in so doing be of great help to others when it is their turn. 

“Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life:  gracious uncertainty, is the mark of the spiritual life.  We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God.  Immediately we abandon to God and do the duty that lies nearest – He packs our life with surprises all the time.”
My Utmost For His Highest by O. Chambers, my life companion for the last 30 years.
 
This is an apt description of daily life at the Blessing House.  No two days are alike and there are surprises in every day making mincemeat of  “well ordered certainty”.  Over the years, I have learned to practice the art of “living in the day” as the only way to navigate the Lord’s plan.  Staying in “the day” allows me to be present and available whatever the day brings, but it also challenges me to trust God with the responsibility of the future.   
 
Living  “BIG” & “BOLD" used to entice me into great plans – all of which collapsed under the weight of my enthusiasm and life’s surprises.  I do love to hear the voices of large ideas and lofty goals about the BH and me, but such vision leaves me stunned.  As I grow older I have lost an inch in height physically, but spiritually I have lost the nature of the bantam rooster and have become a mother hen who loves her home and all who come to visit.   Content in the day, uncertain about what is coming next, I sit in wonder at how God continually provides exceptional people who make things happen without me.  This kind of life offers authenticity, community and hospitality into your life and allows you to experience  fullness and satisfaction.
 
I invite you to expand into your day and experience a life of peace and joy leaving the heavy work of worry, cares, of being responsible for everything to the Lord’s leading.  This is very counter-cultural and is difficult to learn unless you entrust yourself to the God who has gifted you life.  He is a NOW God and as long as I stay in the NOW of gracious uncertainty, all my needs are met and promise and provision are at hand because of a Certain and Sure God.